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Three strikes, you're out: the e-mail trilogy!
I: That bird is back!
Bird lovers:
That pushy bird is back flying up to my window, circling, diving, and repeating the cycle ad-nauseum!
-T
II: Ornithology
Dear Bird Enthusiasts:
The persistence of that "pushy" bird is truly to be admired. It is back again, and it flies up to my window, dives, circles, and repeats the sequence most of the night.
I have taken notice, and I admire the conscientious manner in which it conducts itself. I am quite certain that it is trying to get my attention, to tell me something!
It is important to mention that continually, when I see a bird near me, I address it with a very respectful, "Hi bird."
I like birds!
In accordance with the prophecy,
-T
III: Exploding gulls!
Dear Birders:
There is a myth that proposes that if you feed a gull an Alka Seltzer tablet it will swallow the offering and when the lethal charge gets into the stomach and dissolves, the expanding gasses will cause the bird to explode. Every year there is another story about some mean kids doing this. Oddly, it always involves New Jersey.
After you stop giggling at the image of gulls exploding like flying land mines all over the Jersey shore, you can then prepare yourself to giggle at my ineffectual musings concerning the intentions of "that pushy bird," which continually flies up to my window in an apparent attempt to gain my attention and trust!
Last night, I noticed that determined little bird was back performing its ritual aerobatics. This time another bird, similar in size, shape, and colour - obviously of the same species - accompanied it. At this point I was absolutely convinced that this bird pair were trying to get my attention. So, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I took my garbage outside to the dumpster, and in so doing, I placed myself in the direct path of my bird friends, so as to make myself available for social contact.
I stood silent and still for a few moments allowing my eyes to adjust to the muted lighting conditions. As I watched my bird friends circle, dive, and dance with ease, I began to notice something peculiar about their flight pattern. Although consistent, it appeared quite jerky, and not at all smooth. Also, my fine-feathered friends began to resemble small mammals like mice or shrews.
Out of the blue, I turned red with concurrent delight and embarrassment. I had a revelation; I ultimately came to understand the meaning of the expression, "blind as a bat." My bird friends were not feathered at all.
Bats sleep during the day by clinging upside down to the ceilings in caves, dark corners of buildings, and other similar places.
Perhaps it's a case of bats in the belfry, but one thing is certain: my observations are for the birds!
I like bats.
Fly on,
-T
© 2002, Tony A. Ward
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