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Active Members

John Breno

born: February 29, 1972

stats: Hazel eyes, 240 lbs, size 12 shoes

instruments: Guitar, Belching, Cherry Coke, Samples, Voice

other:  John likes Cream Soda, Frank Zappa, Houston Pizza, burritos, John Zorn, The Toronto Blue Jays, 3rd Rock From The Sun, Jezzball, Corn Dogs, federal politics, stupid dancing, Mackie Designs, & well endowed women.

Reverend Reed Collins, Doctor of Divinity

born: February 29, 1972

stats: Brown eyes, 190 lbs, bats left

instruments: Lead Vocals, Guitar, Lead Belching, Toy Saxophone, Bass

other:  Reed enjoys beer, cigars, nachos, pipes, naked girls, The Detroit Red Wings, bad television, The Saskatchewan Roughriders, naked girls, soup, beer, Bushwakker Brew Pub, Commodore 64 Strip Poker, and his car.   Click here to see the Reverend's ordination certificate and click here to see his Doctor of Divinity certificate.

Gil (formerly Bil Geck)

born: February 29, 1972

stats: Blond hair, 5"11', 18 goals and 56 assists ('95 - '96 season), is an alien from another planet

instruments: Bass, Guitar, Pen Lid, Vocals, Fish Food

other:  Bil enjoys Ernie & Bert, XTC, Nintendo 64, Mike Oldfield, mooching other people's food, cunnilingus, KFC, La Trappe Quadruple, Thursday night TV, grinding gears, P.J. Katie's Farm, and of course, Lard sandwich spread.

Tony A. Ward

born: February 29, 1972

stats: Blue eyes, 165 lbs, Fruit Of The Loom underwear

instruments: Guitar, Vocals, Garbage Bags, Scissors, Gargling

other: Tony likes Slurpees, lottery tickets, hitch-hiking, bottled pop, fishing, pizza pops, hockey, mountain biking, road trips, his girlfriend, Frank Zappa, bagels, and the toilet.

Previous members

Don McGuinness Ford

born: February 29, 1972

stats: Grey hair, 38 consecutive weeks out of jail (a new record for him) , Striped shirts

instruments: Drums after "Available Now!", until January 2001.

other:  Don is a mysterious character, seemingly never in the same place for longer than an hour (with the police invariably appearing within minutes of every time he disappears) and would not allow anyone to take his photograph.  He likes fast women, faster cars, and people who make fake ID.

Cecilia Difora

born: December 25, 1974
deceased: September 13, 1996

stats: Black hair, asthmatic vegetarian, 32B bra

instruments: Drums, Percussion and Vocals (all on "Available Now!")

other:  Likes cake, Quentin Tarentino, pineapple juice, Sheila E, soccer, Royal Bank, solitaire, Cub, Ralph Wiggum, Haggen Daas Sherbet, plenty of vegetables, Maow, Canadian Tire Auto, Cover Girl, Guess, and Du Maurier regular.