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"Sometimes you specifically go out of your
way to get into trouble. It's called 'fun'."
- Adrian Cronauer, Good Morning Vietnam
The Gunky of the Year Award: for outstanding achievement in the field of stupidity.
Awarded annually by the Academy of Stupidity to the proprietor(s) of the year's greatest
ridiculously inane accomplishment.
The nominations for recipient of the Gunky of the Year
Award are open until December 31 of each year. So, if you can accomplish something
nice and stupid, you could be voted Gunky of the Year! If you have a nomination for this
year's award, e-mail the Academy of Stupidity through Garbage City Productions. Become a part
of Stupidity History!
BRING ON THE NOMINATIONS!!!!!!
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Honourary Gunkys
Patrick Alberini, the man with the nickname "Gunky" since 1975!
Wandering
Cheese
The crew of Project Omni.
They destroyed a car and docunented it, all scientific-like.
The DROPZONE crew,
bent on Television Destruction!
The $95000
adventure
High-Profile
Sculpture Replacement |
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M.P. and C.R. - Put together a ridiculous resume for their friend R.R. and distributed it to various stupid job sites. Some of the skills listed on the resume were NES and "playing with hose". Somehow, a person with such ludicrous job experience managed to get called for interviews by several places, including 7-Eleven and Vector Industries. |
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R.R., C.R., M.P, and others - "Stalking the stalker". When R.R. was being pestered by an unwanted female caller at all hours of the night, and the caller would not relent even when he told her off several times, R.R. decided to set the wild dogs out, and distributed her e-mail address to his friends. The crew proceeded to send her lots of weird photos and spam, and pretend to try to pick her up, and hilarity ensued. It all came to a hilarious climax when the evil plan was revealed to her and she hurled various useless insults and finally halted the unwanted phone calls. |
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Unknown - A group of young men who, while their housemate was
on vacation for two days, performed the following set of tasks:
- Suspended all of his bedroom furniture using cables secured to the ceiling.
- Boarded up the window to his room.
- Removed the door to his room and replaced it with drywall, and then painted over it so
that it matched the rest of the wall.
- Removed the lightbulb in the hallway to his room, knowing he would be returning at
night-time.
When the returned, everyone was in bed (hiding in their bedrooms) and all of the lights
were out. He fumbled along the hallway and was unable to find his room. He
went back and forth, again and again, feeling along the wall, but the door was not there.
He finally shouted, "where the hell is my room?" and the perpetrators
emerged, laughing hysterically. He needed a sledgehammer to get through the new
drywall that was placed where his door should be. And of course, much time was spent
putting his furniture back on the floor. Is this, or is this not, the funniest, most
creative practical joke played upon a person, ever? |
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M.L. and crew - For putting a cardboard guitar on a John A.
McDonald statue. John A. Rocks!! |
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M.P. - For the culmination of a year's worth of "Babylon"
research: the King of Regina congratulating him, "You remembered what I said! ...
You're a good guy!" Well done. |
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C.R., R.R., J.B. - for dropping an old electric organ off a
parkade, having duct-taped the keys down, and plugged in the organ using a long extension
cord. Then, after the police came to the house, the boys posed for pictures with the
police and pieces of the wreckage they were removing from the alley (the police did not
charge the crew, but merely made them clean up the mess...the officers found the incident
so hilarious that they decided to take photos for themselves). This
item was declared winner because of the involvement of the police. The winners wish
to thank the constables involved; they couldn't have won this year's award without you! |
For video footage of the organ going off the parkade click here. |
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B.L. - "Three things, first another incident involving
the careful destruction of shopping carts, we got into my friend's 1979 Chrysler Newport,
in the Northgate Mall parking lot, backed the car up so it was facing south, towards
"The Brick", put a shopping cart in front of it and floored it. The cart hit a
parking barricade at the end of the lot going about 70 mph, flew twenty feet in the air,
across the street, and landed in "The Brick" parking lot. Secondly we teed off
golf balls in the Northgate Mall parking lot, again facing the brick.....FORE!!!, thunk.
150 yd drive into the stucco on the side of The Brick. Third, we took turns jumping out of
the Newport at various speeds, while attempting to run cartoon style to see if we would
land on our feet. We went 2 for 7." |
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T.O. - Courageously drank a whole Burger Shake, during the
G.B. Scavenger Hunt. |
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the R.R. led Scavenger Squad - Although they did not win the
G.B. Scavenger Hunt of 10/21/2000, they did achieve the difficult mission of getting a
female stranger to show them her breasts on video. The fact that it was on a bed made the
achievement artistic, sensual and erotic. The stranger apparently was one call-in from the
hospital away from meeting the team at the Bushwakker, which would have sealed their
victory. |
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- R.R. - On a trip to the United States, this individual, in
anticipation of interesting happenings with the border guard, placed a little sign in his
luggage that read, "I hope you enjoyed going through my luggage. I enjoyed packing
it! Have a nice day!" The border guards did find the sign, and actually showed signs
of humanity by smiling and laughing about it. |
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- J.W. - After discussing his recent misfortunes with women
and receiving advice on the subject from T.M., he attempted to pick up the waitress at the
bar with the line "Do you have any drugs? You know to keep you awake and stuff".
She replied "No. I'll take the glasses now" He was quoted as saying after that
he thought it was one step up from T.M.'s advice to call women "princess" as it
"makes them melt". (asking for drugs apparently causes nuclear meltdown. Yowza!
you should try it) |
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- J.W. and S.T. - for forming the Canadian Muff Diving Team
(for which T-shirts are being produced). Bring on the babes. The requirements for making
the team are: they blindfold you and drive you very far away to a field, then unmask you
and give you twenty four hours to complete the act of muff-diving. If you have met these
requirements you will receive a T-shirt. |
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- O.L. - For being one of the first people to play the
boardgame "party till you puke" with M.H. and D.R. then later on when M.H and
O.L. were too drunk to ride their bikes home they stayed over at D.R.'s house in the red
room where there were two beds. This gave D.R. a very confident feeling that interesting
things were bound to happen. So O.L. was lying there in bed talking to M.H. in the dark
when M.H. said "I'm cold" so O.L. replied "bring your blankets!" so
O.L. began to pleasure M.H. whom he barely knew at all and because of M.H.'s younger age
when she tried to reciprocate she didn't quite know what she was doing. This led to O.L.
receiving "FRICTION BURN" and he was so polite that he did not tell her to stop
and she almost rubbed down to blood. This prompted O.L. to receive the illustrious
nickname "THE HORNIEST MAN ALIVE". And inspired the band South Bound Sedan to
write a song about it. I believe it will be a ballad. Good work O.L.!!! He couldn't
urinate properly for weeks. |
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- C.R., R.R., J.B., M.P., T.O. - Placed a couch on a
billboard that is approximately two stories high, and is located on a major thoroughfare. |
For footage of the couch being placed on the billboard click here. |
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- The inhabitants of The ORB - for the
now notorious "window signs" displaying subversive messages (this has been
mentioned on local radio several times) such as "Tax Religion", "Guilt-Free
Drive-Thru Child Drop-Off", and "The Corporation Supercedes the Individual" |
Click here for full-size image |
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- C.R., R.R., M.P., T.O., M. - M. gives toilets to the
crew. The crew dumps them off a bridge, collects the porcelain shards and uses them
for some other mayhem. |
Click here for full-size image |
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- J.B. - for placing a RE-ELECT SATAN sign in the window of a
certain house during the Saskatchewan provincial general election -- this actually got
mentioned on a local radio station. Congratulations to the first Gunky nomination to
receive media coverage! |
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- C.R. - for figuring out how to drive to every 7-Eleven in
Regina without going through any traffic lights. |
For a detailed explanation
of "the 7-Eleven run",
complete with maps,
click here. |
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- Lungbutter - for getting kicked off the stage in Saskatoon
because they were too controversial |
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- C.R., T.O., M.P., R.R. - Pushed a dumpster down a parking
garage, making a spectacular crashing noise. |
For footage of the
dumpster crash click here. |
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- C.R., R.R., M.P. - Lit a shopping cart on fire in the
middle of the street, near a fire hall. |
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- C.R., R.R., M.P., G.B. - Tossed a water-cooler water
bottle off a parkade. |
For footage of the water bottle
incident, click here. |
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- R.R., M.P., K.L.2, and T.O. - for tossing a
television (and a watermelon) off a parkade and getting it on film |
For footage of the television
meeting its doom, click here. |
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- C.R. - for attempting to cash a cheque for one million
(1,000,000) dollars that was written to him as a joke in 1991...it was postdated for
December of 1999 |
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- T.O., C.R., J.B. - for constructing and implementing the
group's first potato cannon |
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- The "Grease Bin Posse" for overturning several
grease bins around the city of Regina. |
For video footage of a grease
bin being overturned click here. |
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- H.S. - for lobbying several snack food and soft drink
companies for free product, constantly making mention that he "almost vomited". |
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- T.O., C.R., J.B. - for O.S.  |
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- T.O. - for "dessert's in the van" |
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- R.R. and C.R. - for making and implementing the first of
two homemade three-man slingshots. |
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- R.R., C.R. and J.E. - for making a permanent stain on the
10th story window of the Hong Kong Bank Building with an egg launched by a three-man
slingshot |
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- M.P. and R.R. - Bought a nine-pound pumpkin for the express
purpose of throwing it off the top of a parkade. A lovely mess was made on the pavement
below. |
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- C.R. and R.R. - mapped out and tested a way to get to the
S.G.I. building in Regina from R.R.'s house, and back, without going through any traffic
lights |
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- C.R., R.R., M.P. - began the infamous Shopping Cart Posse,
which to this day continues to toss shopping carts off parkades (as well as performing
many other heinous acts involving shopping carts), and whose numbers have swollen
ridiculously. |
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- N.W.S. and C.R. - achieved the roof of the Library Building
at the U of R, beginning a series of roof conquests in Regina |
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- the alt.pinecone Snooker League - unsuccessfully held a
championship tournament three times. Each one is now known as Travesty I, Travesty II, and
Travesty III |
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- M.E. and N.W.S. - took over the Usenet newsgroup alt.pinecone ...the world will never be the same. |
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- R.R. and M.P. - discovered that a particular street light
would go out if you smacked it |
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- R.J.B. - introduced us to his Batmobile and Batcave, and
propagated the infamous Burger King ritual |
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- H.S. - got L.G. on video tape in her underwear, promised to
erase it, and then didn't erase it. Well done. |
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- Sockmonkey - took over G.S.'s apartment with H.S. and G.B. |
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- H.S. and G.B. - won a trip to Toronto from the Leader-Post
hockey pool...Toronto was never the same. They hooked up with J.B. and took pictures
with the logo at the front of the 3M building, and made an appearance on MuchMusic's
Speaker's Corner which saw airplay several times (they made a silly joke about Steve
Anthony which was mildly popular amongst the viewers...this is still played to this day
whenever Mr. Anthony visits the "Much Environment"). |
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- R.R. - Burned the grass of Mount Pleasant in Regina. |
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- C.R., M.E., K.L., J.B.2 - founders of the
R.U.C. World Domination Club. They had an army of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee Stormtroopers of Death,
as well as two handjob-maidens. This group was responsible for the infamous Pancake Theory
of the Universe. |
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- B.S. - almost kicked Ms. McCow in the box |
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- R.M., J.B., B.W. - for driving the Brafmobile (J.B.'s car
at the time, a crappy, rusty 1976 Dodge Coronet) down a Regina parkade in neutral at 3 AM,
running over several garbage cans. A police officer caught them at the bottom, and said,
"if I ever see this car down here again, I'm going to conduct a safety inspection,
and believe me, it WON'T PASS" |
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- C.R. and J.R. - founded the Recreational House Destroying
Club, by finding an old abandoned house at Crooked Lake, and then proceeding to destroy
it, using only parts of the house itself. The roof currently sits upon the floor, and this
monument to destruction and stupidity is visited annually. |
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- the B.M.F. (Black Market Farts) - for the infamous
"toilet concert"; the University of Regina's now defunct "radio
station" CKUR held an annual No Contest Festival, and the B.M.F. participated in the
4th annual festival, bringing with them shitty music, shitty musicians, a Casio keyboard,
and a toilet which sat at centre stage dispensing beverages, t-shirts, and cheese slices
(the cheese slices were for throwing into the crowd). This was an event that people
remember as being really fun, even though the band really wasn't very good... |
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- B.W. - Fruit Tella. Brent got hold of a whole ton of boxes
of seven-year-old Fruit Tella which was hard as rocks, and was the stupid snack
"food" of choice for everyone around, until the supply ran out |
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- B.W. - "Could've had peat moss!" B.W. and J.B.
were near some store that had peat moss behind a chain-link fence. All B.W. needed to do
was climb the fence and grab the peat moss. However, for some reason, he didn't do it. Had
he actually stolen such a useless thing, he could have been Gunky of the Year |
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- C.R., G.B., J.B., H.S. - for creating "Grilkium
Brafide", a mixture that started out as a food-based synthetic vomit (with authentic
taste), but got out of hand with the addition of several household chemicals. It was
dumped in the alley and it dissolved a nice crater into the ground. |
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- J.B. - for wrecking his mother's car, which prompted her to
buy him an extremely poopy 1976 Dodge Coronet -- the Brafmobile. The Brafmobile was the
basis of many stupid adventures, and caused J.B. and his friends to become Brafman and his
Super-Stupid Team |
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- J.B. - for attending Mrs. F.'s French language class long
enough to find out she was teaching it, then walking out after five minutes and dropping
the class |
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- the cast of the R.U. high school musical
"Tumbleweeds", for taking a lame play and making it REALLY stupid (and pissing
off the director) by making several ad-lib changes to the script |
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- A.P. - for teaching the rest of us the "57" phone
system that could be used to make one's own phone ring (several stupid and moronic pranks
followed that were based on this system) |
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- C.R., J.R., G.B. - for sticking a glob of processed cheese
on the ceiling of C.R.'s cabin at Crooked Lake. It's still there today. |
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- C.R., J.B., G.B. - for stealing over 50 different signs
around the city of Regina |
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